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The Misleading Sexual Addiction Label

Quite frequently as we grow, we experience changes in what arouses us, that what turned us on as a teenager or as a newlywed has lost a bit of its sparkle. We may see something in online porn or read something in a book that we never knew was so erotic, and we feel the urge to experiment with it. * Loss of control vs feeling out of control. Whereas a sex addiction therapist may talk about the client’s dangerous “loss of control,” and lead him down the path of addiction treatment (admitting inability to control, abstinence, etc.), the sex therapist would lead the client to explore the behavior—why it is there, what are its roots, and if his “feeling out of control” is due to not understanding or accepting that it may just be another erotic part of his life that is wanting expression. * Failed attempts to stop or cut down vs not wanting to stop. In the addiction model, not being able to stop the behavior, or returning to it after trying to abstain, is considered backsliding, proof of pathological dependency, a moral failure, or character weakness, and efforts to fight the addiction are redoubled. The client is told, “Once an addict, always an addict,” and made to believe that he must never give in to the addiction, and make every effort to cut out the offending part of his psyche or starve it to death by not feeding it. This is what Doug Braun-Harvey and Michael Vigorito, psychotherapists and co-authors of Treating Out of Control Sexual Behaviors: Rethinking Sex Addiction, call “eroticectomy,” a label I can agree with. In sex therapy, on the other hand, we must consider if the client really wants or needs to stop the “unwanted” behavior or if it is coming from from something or someone else. Maybe they are fighting an inner battle against how they see themselves or how they think they need to be because of their religion or culture.

For the original สโบเบท มือถือ version including any supplementary images or video, visit https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/understanding-the-erotic-code/201701/the-misleading-sexual-addiction-label